SUPERMOMs don’t exist no matter what social media shows you, I promise! Here are some First Time Mom Tips which will help anyone who is overwhelmed and just needs a reset!
Being a mom is overwhelming. Suddenly your life is not your own anymore and you have this thing depending on you for absolutely everything. In addition to your new bundle of joy the world expects you to be Super Mom with a perfect child, perfect body, and perfect home. I remember being out of my element and it took me 4 tries to finally figure out you can’t do everything. I put together a list for you. First Time Mom Tips so you can keep your sanity and heal correctly.
Whether you are a first-time mom, you are doing it again, or you are a bit overwhelmed right now and are in need of a reset, you need to keep things simple!
Keeping things simple and setting small goals will help you keep your sanity and build your confidence. We all know this in our heads but here is the way I actually accomplish it:
1-3 things ONLY!
Contents
Write down what you hope to accomplish today. Doesn’t matter where you write it. Just write it down. Keep this list between 1-3 things! Seriously!! You, just like your baby, are learning a new life. You have to take it slow and crawl before you can walk.
When I first came home from the hospital with each of the first 3 kids I tried to do it all. Dishes, laundry, meals, plus take care of a newborn AND let my body heal. After my third I actually had my mother-in-law come to stay with us for a heart transplant she desperately needed. I was the primary caregiver for her and the baby. Talk about trying to do too much!
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For the majority of us, trying to keep up, burns us out and our sanity is the first thing to suffer. After my fourth, I realized I can do only a couple things and the rest had to wait. More importantly, I HAD TO BE OK WITH THAT!
Here’s the next step to your list… are you ready? When you have accomplished that thing for the day CHECK IT OFF! Don’t erase it. You want to be able to see it until at least the next day when you are creating your next 1-3 things. Better yet, if you can keep it for a while and see how much you have actually gotten done!
I have a white board that has been beaten up pretty good that I write everything on. Now that the kids are older my 1-3 things have expanded but I still keep it simple. I need to feel accomplished for the day and checking those off at the end of the day helps me sleep so much better at night.
5-15 Minutes ONLY
This rule is SO important! DO NOT skip this rule!! Whatever you put on your accomplishment list – You have to be able to accomplish it in 5-15 minutes. One item can’t be “clean my entire house” OH NO NO NO! Keep each item on your accomplishment list between 5-15 minutes!!
I set a timer for however long I feel I would be able to accomplish something (or however long I feel I could stand up if I just came home from the hospital). Start in one corner of the room and stay focused! You will be surprised at what you can do in 5 minutes. I can accomplish all of these things in 5 minutes. You can too!
- Clean the Bathroom
- Empty the dishwasher
- Vacuum one room (or more)
- Mop one room (or more)
- Pick up the whole house
Certain things do need a bit longer like doing the dishes at the end of the day (YES, can be done in 15 minutes) and folding laundry takes a bit longer in my experience BUT makes folding fun! Put on a show, get some chips and salsa and start folding. Something I have started is doing the dishes 3 times throughout the day for 5 minutes each and setting my timer. It doesn’t seem so taxing at the end of the day and I’m beginning to fall in love with this way.
Make Sure 1 item on your list is FOR YOU!
You are not the only one that will suffer if you skip this step! SO DO IT! Set your timer for 5-15 minutes for this one because you will get anxious and come back early if you don’t! I love all of these things in my 5 minute ME time.
- Shower
- Exfoliate and enjoy a mask on your face
- Shave
- Sit outside and breathe
- Take a walk around the block
- Enjoy a Sitz bath (This is HEAVEN after having the baby). Turn down the lights and up the music.
I absolutely LOVE this Epsom Salt to add to my baths. It smells like lavender … mmm, amazing. If you don’t want to put it in your bath quite yet (make sure your doctor is ok with it) just put a small bowl next to your head on the edge of the tub and breathe. I love this so many years later!
I still use this 5 minute rule even though my kids are a bit older. Children have a sixth sense that tells them when mom is taking time for herself. It’s really incredible how it works. If mine end up at the bathroom door whining I have trained myself to feel no guilt. They can wait for me for 5 minutes or less. It really won’t hurt any of them.
Communicate.
Communicate fully with your significant other or whoever is your support at this time. Let them know how much you can handle since your body just had major trauma. Tell them your goals for the day. Tell them your dreams for your child and your future. When you two are together turn off the TV, put down your phones and talk to each other. Feeling alone is so hard, remember this is new for the both of you and you are in it together. The less stress you feel the better you will heal and healthier the baby will be. There are a ton of studies on how stress on the mother affects unborn and newborn babies.
Share what your favorite ideas are for ME time and share your favorite products! One day I will put our community favorites up on this site for us all to feel a little better about ourselves and you to thank!
5 minutes – set your timer. Celebrate your accomplishments. Screw everything else.
The First 5 Minutes of Your Day Defines Your Attitude
We all know that how we start our day sets the mood for the rest of our day so why aren’t we better at it? It doesn’t take long, just the first 5 minutes of your day, to define your attitude for the better. Make the most of your day by showing love to the people you love most, get your mind and your priorities in order and be productive…and yes in the first 5 minutes.
None of us are strangers to hitting the snooze button on our alarm clocks 5 times only to wake up more groggy and sluggish than we would have if we had gotten up the first time it went off. We start the day on our phones then rush into the shower while yelling at the kids to get dressed. Soon our whole morning is gone, we are late for school and everyone is tense.
Most of the time when I wake up I am met with a child who wants to snuggle and all I can think about is getting to work and how much I have to do that day. Consciously I have to step back and think that I have a fresh start today. I can rush which will lead to yelling and a completely stressed day, or I can spend 5 minutes to say good morning to each of my children individually. The first 5 minutes of your day defines your whole attitude; what will you choose?
Open Your Blinds
Make it a habit to get out of bed, open your blinds and stretch a little bit as you look outside. Let the sunlight in, even if it’s still dark when you wake up, open the blinds so when the sun wakes up you can appreciate what a beautiful day it’s going to be. Sunlight has many health benefits for you but did you know it’s good for your room also? When you open your blinds you are allowing the sun to come in to your home all day. It gives the room an energy that makes a difference in your mind, body and spirit, but did you know that it kills germs too?
Even if you wake up and leave before the sun is up, open your blinds. When you get home, it will feel more welcoming, cleaner, more open.
Be Grateful
We are all so grateful for our children but how do we show it? Before they go off to school and you head to work, show them how much they mean to you in 1 minute or less. I generally give my older kids a kiss on the head, smell them (I know this is weird but I love my children’s smell, even when it isn’t so pleasant), ask them how they slept, and talk to them about their goals today. This sets their focus on something productive, gives them confidence that they can do what they are setting their mind to, and shows them love from mom. I show physical affection and emotional affection by listening to them fully.
It resets my outlook also. I am not focused on me, I am focused on what I have in my life, the things I am most grateful for. It melts my mind, body, and emotions to putty when I kiss my children and focus on them fully. It is difficult to explain but when you try it, you will see how it works.
With the younger children I pick them up and snuggle them, give them a kiss on the cheek and smell them (I know, I know, but we all have to have something odd we do as moms). I ask them how they slept even though they don’t quite grasp the concept of that and then I talk to them about something they can look forward to during the day, ie: learning their letters, seeing a friend, playing outside… whatever that day will bring.
Write it Down Now, Do Later
Think about what you want to write on your whiteboard. If you have read my other articles you know that I keep a whiteboard (you can use anything you want) I write 2 things I want to do for the house, 2 things for myself, and 2 things for the children. Look at all you accomplished from the day before (it should still be written down), erase it and write your goals you will accomplish today. Write the first things that come to mind, those things in the front of your mind are probably your priorities that you subconsciously want to focus on. Getting those things done throughout the day will give you the best sense of accomplishment.
Do not try and get these things done right now. Just write them down. You are only starting your day, make these first few minutes count. Being busy is not being productive. We all have the same number of hours in the day, but those who plan are the most productive and the most fulfilled.
What Not-To-Do
- Lay in bed for a long period of time
- Get on social media
- Check emails
- Rush to do anything
- Raise your voice
- Hit the snooze and go back to sleep
- Turn on the TV or your phone
- Multi-task
- Skip kissing your partner and your children
- Attempt to do too much, thereby not accomplishing anything
You All Deserve Better
You may feel like it’s a way of life to wake up last minute, grab a piece of toast and a banana, have the kids grab their lunches and backpacks and rush out the door. None of you deserve that rushed feeling to set your day. Go to bed a little earlier and wake up a little earlier to get the day started right, with gratitude and productivity.
With everything you do, you are teaching your children something. Think about how you start your day and make a conscious choice to do something different. Something better for you, your partner, and your children. When they grow up they will take their time and be the most productive they can be only if they are taught to. It’s up to you to show them that the first 5 minutes fo the day will help you focus, love, and set your attitude for the rest of the day.
