Starting a freelance career as a home business often starts out as the envy of your loved ones.
Suddenly everyone wants to know how you’re doing it and laments they wish they had an MFA/Masters/Phd (degrees you yourself don’t have and don’t need for most freelance careers) but rapidly leads to lots of undermining comments thrown into the mix.
Soon it’s not just admiration and excitement, it’s comments like:
- “Oh man, I wish I could work all day in my pajamas!”
- “I could never work at home all day with the TV around and the kids underfoot.”
- “Must be nice to just hang around the house while everyone’s at work.”
- “Don’t you get bored?”
- “Is that a real job or just for fun? How much do you make anyway?”
- “Can you please pick up my kids/dry cleaning/do me a favor that I am disguising as an emergency but really isn’t?!”
- “So do you just work whenever you feel like it?”
- “Why do you need a maid once a month if you’re at home all day?”
And on and on…
Before you get defensive or frustrated, remember that the majority of people you know probably work in an traditional office setting, or they take care of their kids without freelancing on the side. The reality of freelancing and working from home are foreign concepts to most.
There’s also the very real possibility they’re resentful and even jealous.
This is normal, and not really your problem. It might be a complicated type of envy like you have a supportive spouse or great kids who clean up after themselves so you can work. Or maybe they just feel lost and never had a career outlet to call their own. It’s also possible they’re overwhelmed by their home situation and can’t realistically freelance. This could lead to some resentment and confusion on how you’re pulling it off.
It’s okay to be empathetic, but it’s about them. Your freelance life is yours and your family’s alone. You can’t control what other people think, feel and do.
You can choose to simply ignore their questions and comments about your freelance work, but in truth you need to play some offense to keep their expectations and assumptions from spiraling out of control. Otherwise you’ll get pressure to take care of their emergencies (and non-emergencies) because they just don’t take your home business seriously.
Here’s 10 things you can do so your friends and family will take both you and your business seriously.
Take yourself and your freelance work seriously
Contents
This is by far the most important step on this list. If you don’t take yourself and your freelance work seriously, then why would anyone else?
Don’t blow off deadlines in favor of lunch with the gang and then talk about how you hate work, always procrastinate and will never get all of it done. It’s also natural to feel a little reserved about announcing your freelance work to the world while you’re figuring things out and growing your client base. But if you pretend like it’s not a real, valid business, then no one else will either.
Crush your self-sabotage
Avoid talking down about your freelance work or use verbal self-sabotage. Always venting about how you suck at it or how you’re going to fail just tells everyone else around you that this isn’t a real business. They’ll assume you’re struggling and aren’t going to make it. Instead of admiration, you’ll soon be met with pity. Friends will try to distract you from your misery by asking you out or to do their favors instead.
Set designated work hours and stick to them
Freelance work takes real time and not 10 minute intervals of haphazard productivity. You’ll never get anything done. As a Mom, my work hours are sporadic. But I stopped answering all texts, IM’s and Facebook prompts years ago during coveted nap time and early evening hours. I have a career to foster and my time is the most important resource I have.
Set firm boundaries
I have an acquaintance who is so pushy that she’ll demand I “squeeze her in for just an hour!” even after telling her how swamped I am for the week. Say “No” firmly and unapologetically. It is absolutely not your responsibility to acquiesce to everyone elses schedules and demands to fit their personal schedules. They are time sucks and aren’t going to stop if you give in.
You don’t show up at people’s workplaces and demand they come to lunch, break away for a playdate or take your kid to the doctor.
It’s also crucial to say “No” to running errands and shuttling kids around after school or looking after them until their parents get home. If needed, explain you are working and the hours of missed compensation will make or break you for the month. Be ruthless in saying “No” and in protecting your time.
Join or create a professional organization
Freelancing can feel like working in a vacuum. It’s often lonely, isolating and hard to self-motivate past hurdles and creative blocks. Joining a professional organization can give you accountability to participate in your freelance community, and remind you there are others with a home business.
Joining a group also signals to your friends and family that there are other people out there with freelance careers and you’re not simply sitting around goofing off all day.
Can’t find a group in your community that suits your freelance lifestyle? Create one yourself through MeetUp.com and host monthly meetings to discuss issues that matter to you. Like getting people to take your business seriously.
Surround yourself with like-minded people
Joining a professional group give you access to a pool of like-minded people. You can push your career forward faster if you’re with people on the same page with you. This doesn’t mean you need to drop your friends and family. But how can they truly support and motivate you forward if they have no clue what you’re going through and facing as a freelancer?
Again, surrounding yourself with people who freelance tells your friends and family that you have your own form of co-workers. You’re also less likely to let them push you around and take advantage of your time if you’re around other people building freelance careers.
It can be harder to find such a support as a freelance parent, but it’s not impossible. If you started a MeetUp group, then you already have a growing network in place. I’ve also found many parents who may not technically be freelancers, but help run non-profits and organize community events. They’re so focused and busy, they essentially have a freelance career on the side.
Create a dedicated work space
A home office, corner of the basement or a desk in a private space is all you need for dedicated work space. But you don’t necessarily need one static space to call dedicate yourself to your work.
I admit I don’t have much of a dedicated work space in my home because I prefer being mobile. I often stand-up while I write from a kitchen counter or table, or choose to sit in a comfortable chair to bang out an article. Sometimes I head to a coffee shop full of other freelancers. Instead, create dedicated work space by loading my laptop up with tools to streamline my freelance business like Dropbox, Sane Box and Last Pass.
Set goals
You’re not working towards anything without a goal in place. Fumbling around in the dark in your freelance career and home life is complete chaos. I did it for a long time and it feels like constantly being in the weeds – like those horrible days at your office job where you couldn’t keep up, let alone get ahead. A goal gives you context to your work and accountability.
Jot down your goals every few days (or better yet, every day) in a notebook. Don’t worry about revisiting the ones from the entry before, just keep writing them down as you go. You’ll be surprised how they take on clarity, shape and how motivated you become to complete them.
But remember to keep your goals simple and manageable. “I want to send out one cold email to a potential client every week,” is a goal you can not only keep, but achieve.
Change your email signature
Don’t skip over something like changing your email signature because it’s too easy or simple. Adding “Freelance Writer” or “Graphic Designer” or “Educational Consultant” is an easy way to remind people what you’re up to on a daily basis. It’s easy for people to pigeon hole you in the role they’ve always seen you in. But if they constantly see your title attached to your email, it will sink in and soon they’ll attach your work to your identity.
Don’t hoard your work. While you don’t need to brag or endlessly complain about what you’re doing, take time to share what you’re up to with your loved ones. Talk about that great client you landed and your excitement over wrapping up a difficult project. Make sure to listen in return to your friends’ and family’s stories to establish the idea that you’re both two professionals swapping stories from the field.
